...that someone (Jack) said to reject me.

It's nearly impossible. I tried to avoid it. But when it came time to let Brian #3 down easily after a third date dinner invitation, I found myself uttering (texting, that is) those same annoying phrases, "no chemistry" and "you're great"all meaning the same thing: I don't want to see you again. Ever.

Me: “Hey congrats on getting a bike! I really appreciate the dinner invite but I don’t feel that we have the right connection to keep hanging out. I think you’re a great guy and I wish you luck.”

Him: "Sorry to hear that but OK."

Sadly, what choice does he have? When one person decides to stop seeing another person, there is no discussion, no more dates, it just is.

Notice that I used "connection" instead of "chemistry". And yes, I told him he was great. I hate it when people tell me how great I am because if I'm as awesome as they say why wouldn't they want to continue to see me? But it ends the text on a more positive note.

My standard sign off is always "best of luck" or "wish you luck". I find this phrase useful both as the rejecter and the rejectee.

"I don't want to see you anymore, but I wish you the best of luck!" - as the rejecter

"Thanks for the note [rejecting me even though i'm so great], best of luck with everything!" - as the rejectee who is pretending she is totally cool with being rejected who really wants to reply "fuck you, a-hole."

In my youth, i.e. my 20's, I likely would not have written Brian back, but in truth he IS a nice guy. And I'm 33. And I need to be honest with all of the men I meet in the hope that they'll be honest with me - whether I like what they have to say or not.

What goes around comes around. And then goes around again. Jack rejects me. I don't why. I felt chemistry. I reject Brian. He doesn't know why because he felt chemistry.

And so it goes...