As quickly as Hurricane Irene came and went, so did my patience with Gabe. But you might have sensed that already from this post. How quickly things change from this other post just a few weeks ago.
Gabe's 3-4 days between reaching out to me, via text message only is now officially more than annoying. His one-liner texts, "Hi, how are you?" are neither entertaining nor interesting, and they never ask me when I'm free to hang out next. And please remember that I already expressed my initial annoyance to him over a week ago. Nothing changed.
As the entire east coast worried and wondered about what kind of destruction Irene would bring, I wondered about Gabe. Would he be at his place in Brooklyn? Would he want to snuggle with me at my place during storm?
Friday was the day people I hadn't heard from in years reached out to me on Facebook and inquired my whereabouts for the impending storm. Friends I see daily and family wanted to make sure I had provisions and a safe place.
Gabe did not. He did not call, he did not text, he did not Facebook chat me or even send a messenger pigeon to my apartment.
Our last contact was a silly text early on Thursday where neither us mentioned the hurricane.
The storm came and went. Cookies were baked and movies were watched. Finally, on Sunday at noon as people started to emerge from their shelters to check out the one tree that fell in the park, I received a text that said:
"Did you get through the storm okay?".
Really, Gabe? Really? What if I was pinned under that tree that fell in the park? What if I overdosed on my chocolate provisions and was alone, dead in my living room? Would you care at all?
I would like to tell you I was enraged and couldn't believe his timing and lack of sensitivity. To be honest, though, I wasn't surprised and therefore couldn't muster rage of any kind. Mild disappointment more like it. He couldn't have taken 30 seconds to write a text message on Friday or even Saturday asking me what my hurricane plan was?
When we are together in person, in the same space, we get closer and closer. We talk and share feelings. Outside of that space, however, it's like we're strangers who just met at that bar back in March. This is not something I have the patience for. Even if we are just friends (with occasional benefits) I need regular contact. Regular communication to feel that this person is a part of my life.
So, I compressed these feelings in a four sentence text message and sent it off on Sunday evening. He answered immediately, but did nothing to allay my disappointment in him.
"I apologize. While I'd like to be in more frequent contact with you, my job is so crazy. I've been working like a mad man - 12 hour days. I'm too tired to talk to anyone."
Communication brings people together. Friends, family, lovers, whatever. It's the glue of all relationships. Gabe and I don't have it. Not regularly, or as regular as I would like. Therefore it is time to let go. What else can I do?
"Yes", I wrote back, "so you've said before."