The best part of this date

How did you meet? online, Match

Name: Dave

Height: 5'8" (more like 5"6' - my height. Dear Match - Please recalibrate your algorithms to match me with taller dudes. Love, Me)

Age: 37

Occupation: Human resources

Good quotes from date: I cannot count the awkward silences that occurred on this date because I can't count that high. I tried to lead the conversation and then got tired and then learned to sip my bourbon as slow as humanly possible. During one particular long sip Dave regaled me with this little nugget:

"I had a weird clicking in my ear the other day. I got really worried because I'm a hypochondriac, ya know. So I went to an ENT doctor and it turns out it was just an eyelash sitting against my ear drum. Can you believe it? He removed it with a giant set of tweezers and the swooshing, clicking sound stopped immediately. Apparently it happens all the time."

No, I can't believe it. Apparently dudes telling me stories about things in their ears is also common. Remember Brian's ear nugget? They say you learn something everyday. This is something I wouldn't mind un-learning.

Why is he still single? See above. And also because of this:

"I saw the movie 50/50 this weekend. It was great. I cried. The girl I was with didn't shed a tear! It was our third date and I decided it would be our last. Because she didn't cry."

Did he pay for the date? Yes, but not without making comments about how this bar had cheap drinks and that's why he brought me here. I think he thought he was being witty but I didn't laugh. Then he wanted a second drink and I didn't and he said, "Oh so you're going to get this round?" I said, "No, I'm not getting another drink."***

Sip, bourbon. SLOW. Wish he wasn't getting another drink.

***Of note: In his match profile he writes, "I pay on the first date." Also of note: I came to his neighborhood - a 25 minutes subway ride away!

Did he contact you after the date? No

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? No. He's 37. Get your shit together. Please.

Comments:

I know this guy was nervous and I always, always forgive that because dating is a lot of pressure for dudes. I know this. I think he tried to make jokes that I didn't know were jokes or weren't funny or maybe they weren't jokes at all. But besides that he was one of the most negative people I've ever met. He hated his job and hated his boss, and didn't really love the city. He also went off about how he hates cigarettes because they're disgusting. I don't smoke so I don't know how that subject came up.

Another case of a guy with his own apartment, a car, a decent job, a full on adult but not mature enough to be a gentleman on a date. He told me he sets his expectations extremely low on dates. I can attest to that. This was one of those dates that makes me dislike dating.

The best part of this evening: When I emerged from the subway I looked down and found a crumpled dollar. There is always something exciting and mysterious about finding money on the ground like the universe is throwing me a bone saying "Don't worry, I've got something/someone really good coming to you soon." I will save this dollar. I may not have high expectations about dating either, but I do have hope.