I've been on 3 so-so dates with two different women. With Lady #1 our conversation lagged by the third date. With Lady #2 we answered some of the "36 Questions That Lead to Love" on the third date, and they had the opposite effect. Is it okay to call it quits with both?

- A guy, age 28, NY

Dear So-So,
I’m fascinated by this question because you’re a dude. I assumed that women were the only ones to stick around after so-so dates because we tell ourselves: “He’s really nice”, or “There’s no one else around right now”, while our coupled friends tell us: “You’re being too picky. He seems really nice.”

So, So-So, my question back to you is: Don’t you already know the answer?

Go with your gut, and your gut has already moved on. How do I know? If your gut had time to type this question and press send instead of planning something romantic to do on date 4 (or jerking off to images of lady #1 or #2), then yeah, I know, you know, now we all know. You’re just not into either of these women.

Guess what? Thats ok. That’s what dating is. A bunch of random encounters with random people who you probably met on the internet. People who, while texting, emailing, or talking on the phone, you created elaborate fantasies about that likely included: meeting your parents in a couple of months over dinner, spending time together at your friend’s beach house this summer, what songs to play at your wedding, where in the world to travel to (hiking that volcano will be dangerous but invigorating!), how when your daughter's teacher tells you she's too creative and smart for the second grade you will slyly wink at each other.

WAIT. That might be what dating is for me.

Either way, it’s still ok. Go forth and keep dating until you stop thinking, stop emailing me, and stop counting dates with a lady because goddamn it you’re in love. Then invite me to the wedding. I have some really great song recommendations.

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